From the mind of the ultimate corporate gunslinger comes this no-nonsense, real-world curriculum, designed to augment-if not replace-the more traditional path to achieving mastery of the business universe. Conquer this sharp, practical and often amusing course of study and save $250, 000 of wasted business school tuition. Unlike those august, Ivy-encrusted factories that churn out masterful business administrators, The Curriculum will teach you the art of business, employing a smart, tactical battle plan that will prove infinitely more awesome as you make your way in the world.  We begin, in the Core Curriculum, with the acquisition and maintenance of Power. Included are such essentials as Not Appearing Stupid (an early career requirement), Fabricating A Sustainable Business Personality, and the arts of Management and Selling. The Advanced Curriculum hones the skills that are required to seize Success by the throat and shake it until valuable prizes fall out of its pockets, including fundamentals on Strategic Thinking, Self-Branding, mastering Electronic Communications, and dealing with Crazy People. Tutorials and Electives, which students may pursue as their interest or discretion advises, include lessons on Giving an Effective Presentation, Business Drinking, and the Care and Feeding of Ultra-Senior Officers. Lavishly enhanced with numerous charts, graphs, and other illuminating business illustrations, and backed up by years of study from Mr. Bing's proprietary research organization (The National Association of Serious Studies), The Curriculum will occupy a place of pride on any bookshelf dedicated to the study of business, how it works, and how it can be used against those who don't know how it works.

The Curriculum - Everything You Need to Know to Be a Master of Business Arts

"A masterful curmudgeon who causes laugh-out-loud moments."-USA Today"Bing delivers his works smoothly, projecting tones of deadpan sarcasm and animated mockery befitting the often irreverent content." -Publishers WeeklyFrom celebrated business writer and Fortune columnist Stanley Bing, the bestselling author of What Would Machiavelli Do?, Throwing The Elephant, Sun Tzu is a Sissy, and more, comes a collection of playful fables poking fun at corporate archetypes while imparting useful and humorous lessons for anyone striving to make it big in big business. Illustrated throughout by New Yorker artist Steve Brodner, Bingsop's Fables is the perfect addition to any executive bookshelf in need of a little humor-and a lot of excellent advice.

Bingsop's Fables - Little Morals for Big Business

A sly send-up of the successful What Would Jesus Do? books, here is a satisfyingly mean light-hearted approach to business success-the Machiavellian way. Machiavellians may not get to heaven, but on earth they have a definite edge on the competition. In this pithy and discretely vicious guide, Stanley Bing shows how the Florentine master statesman and political thinker would handle today's myriad corporate challenges, seize the future by the throat, and make it cough up money, power, and superior office space. So, what exactly would Machiavelli do? He would exploit himself only slightly less than he exploits others. He would be in love with his destiny. He would, for the most part, be a paranoid freak. He would always be at war. He would cultivate a few well-loved enemies. He would have a couple of good friends, too. He would acquire his neighbor. He would think BIG. He would move forward like a great shark, eating as he goes. And much, much more. More than a road map to success, this hands-on guide will help anyone get what they want, whether or not they deserve it.

What Would Machiavelli Do? - The Ends Justify the Meanness

A hilarious and tough-minded guide to winning the war of contemporary life. The Chinese philosopher Sun Tzu taught that readiness is all, that knowledge of oneself and the enemy was the foundation of strength, and that those who fight best are those who are prepared and wise enough not to fight at all. Unfortunately, in the current day, this approach is pretty much horse hockey. Sun Tzu was a Sissy will transcend all those efforts and teach the reader how to make war, win, and enjoy the plunder in the real world, where those who do not kick, gouge, and grab are left behind at the table to pay the tab. Students of Bing will be taught how to plan and execute battles that hurt other people a lot, and advance their flags and those of their friends.

Sun Tzu Was a Sissy - Conquer Your Enemies, Promote Your Friends, and Wage the Real Art of War

Jam-packed with new anecdotes, updated references, and modernized jokes, Stanley Bing's seminal investigation of what makes bosses crazy is now revised for a new generation. Fans of television's The Office and the cult film Office Space will love this classic guide to the universal workplace phenomenon of crazy bosses, now updated for a new century's worth of insane supervisors. Bestselling author and business guru Stanley Bing's Crazy Bosses identifies the various types of crazy bosses-the boss with the five brains, the bully, the paranoid boss, the narcissist, the "bureaucrazy, " and the disaster hunter-and offers readers concrete strategies on how to cope, and, most importantly, how not to become crazy bosses themselves.

Crazy Bosses - Fully Revised and Updated

The definitive collection of thoughts, assaults, and hilarious observations from America's premier business humorist and bestselling author of Throwing the Elephant and What Would Machiavelli Do? The Big Bing will be a mandatory addition to the library of everyone who works for a living, or would like to. For nearly 20 years, Stanley Bing's funny, wise, pleasantly mean-spirited, and at times even useful columns have delighted readers in the pages of Esquire, Fortune and a variety of other national publications. Bing has lived the last two decades inside the belly of the corporate beast, clawing his way to the top of one of the great multinational companies in the cosmos. And he has seen it all: the high body count after many a gruesome deal, the machine that grinds up the bones of those who stood in its way, the birth and death of executive dinosaurs (and he's had quite a few lunches with some of them, too). The result is storytelling at its best-sophisticated, amusing, and driven by the kind of insight that only a true insider can possess. The Big Bing provides a mole's-eye-view of the society in which we all live and work, creating one of the most entertaining, thought-provoking, and just plain funny bodies of work in contemporary letters.

The Big Bing - Black Holes of Time Management, Gaseous Executive Bodies, Exploding Careers, and Other Theories on the Origins of the Business Universe

Stanley Bing follows his enormously successful What Would Machiavelli Do? with another subversively humorous exploration of how work would be different-if the Buddha were your personal consultant. What would the Buddha do-if he had to deal with a rampaging elephant of a boss every day? That is the premise of Stanley Bing's wickedly funny guide to finding inner peace in the face of relentlessly obnoxious, huge, and sometimes smelly bosses. Taking the concept of managing up to a new cosmic plateau, Bing urges no less than a revolution of the spirit in the American workplace, turning overwrought, oppressed, stressed-out employees into models of Zen-like powers of concentration, able to take their elephant-like bosses and grey, lumbering companies and twirl them around the little finger of their consciousness. In Bing's unique tradition of social criticism cum business self-help, Throwing the Elephant presents Four Truths (or possibly Five), a Ninefold Path, and one useful, hilarious guide to workplace sanity, success, and enlightenment that surpasses all understanding, survival.

Throwing the Elephant - Zen and the Art of Managing Up

Machiavel, ce philosophe et conseiller politique du XVIe siècle, pour qui la fin justifiait les moyens, ne semble pas être à première vue un maître recommandable. C'est pourtant sa pensée, adaptée au XXIe siècle, que nous propose ici Stanley Bing.
Dans un style très enlevé, l'auteur nous suggère dans ce guide des stratégies et des méthodes " machiavéliques " pour déjouer impitoyablement la concurrence, le tout en 40 chapitres. Voici quelques thèmes qui y sont abordés :
• Comment être imprévisible ;
• Comment se maintenir constamment en état de guerre ; 
• Comment soigner les ennemis qu'on aime bien ; 
• Comment blesser, torturer, abattre et... s'amuser follement.
Un livre intelligent, mordant, révélateur, à lire parfois au second degré, d'un trait ou par bribes, puis à relire et à consulter fréquemment pour en absorber les précieuses mises en garde.
Pouvez-vous vraiment vous passer de tels conseils ?

Que ferait Machiavel ? - La fin justifie le venin. Guide du parfait arriviste

J'ai particulièrement estimé que mon travail dans la gestion était à l'abri de l'incursion de machines avec des visages amicaux peints sur le devant de la tête, ou peu importe comment vous appelez les constructions métalliques au sommet de leurs épaules, si ce sont des épaules.

La colère est un carburant. Vous avez besoin de carburant pour lancer une fusée. Mais si tout ce que vous avez est du carburant sans aucun mécanisme interne complexe qui le dirige, vous n'avez pas de fusée. tu as une bombe

J'aimerais avoir le pouvoir d'arrêter de réveiller à 3 heures du matin tous les soirs pour vérifier mon e-mail.

Je ne peux pas penser à un niveau comparable d'excitation culturelle à propos de quelque chose depuis que Neil Armstrong a atterri sur la lune dans les années 1960.

Un Android pourrait-il écouter les gémissements, les demandes d'avancement et les supplications pour les conseils et l'affection qui coulent des subordonnés? Bien sûr que cela pourrait. Franchement, tout ce qui serait plus facile pour le robot que sur moi.

Il y a maintenant des montagnes que mon cerveau ne peut plus gravir.

Les hommes d'affaires sont comme des requins, non seulement parce que nous sommes gris et légèrement gras, ou parce que nos dents traînent les entrailles de ceux que nous avons éviscérés, mais parce que nous devons avancer ou mourir.

"Salut," dis-je. Elle s'est approchée, m'a léché discrètement la main, s'est laissée griffer un instant, a poursuivi sa queue en un cercle digne, s'est recouchée. Je me souviens avoir pensé : « Il y a des moments où Dieu met un choix devant vous. J'avais souvent de telles pensées à l'époque. Nous avons pris le chien.

Après près de 6 000 ans de preuves sur le sujet, une chose est claire : les personnes qui finissent par devenir des leaders dans n'importe quelle organisation, grande ou petite, sont souvent les gars les plus fous.

Je voudrais que ma conscience soit préservée numériquement et logée dans un endroit agréable pour une insertion ultérieure dans un cyborg entièrement fonctionnel quand c'est possible.

Il n'y a pas d'êtres vivants qui exercent plus de puissance sur les autres, livre pour livre, que de minuscules bébés et des magnats extrêmement minces.

Ma méthode préférée de procrastination est de faire autre chose qui doit faire, mais pas tout à fait imminente. Le sommeil est également bon, tout comme buvez jusqu'à ce que vous ne puissiez plus faire rien de très bien.

La lecture de mon chemin jusqu'à Sherlock Holmes m'a donné un amour à vie pour le crime et la fiction détective.

Si vous pouvez bien écouter, les gens diront que vous êtes un bon causeur.

Qu'en est-il de la passion, du dévouement, de la loyauté? Un robot peut-il les fournir? Non! D'un autre côté, il est plus facile de retirer un robot lorsque sa journée est terminée.

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