What if you could have someone legally declared a dick? Simon Bellerophon does just that! When pain in the butt Horne Shaw pushes him too far, Simon sues to have him branded a dick...and wins, in the craziest court case ever. But that's just the beginning of this out-there, in-your-face comedy. If you love TV shows like Family Guy and South Park or websites like Funny Or Die, you'll love Dick By Law. Don't miss this crazy novel by award-winning storyteller Robert Jeschonek, a master of unique and unexpected comedy that really packs a punch.

Dick By Law

Alice has had a lousy life since she left Wonderland. All grown up and trapped in an unhappy marriage, she longs to escape. But when she finally manages to leap through the mirror, she gets one twisted shock after another. What ever happened to the crazy, charming Wonderland of her youth? This time, the Mad Hatter, Cheshire Cat, Mock Turtle, Humpty Dumpty, Tweedledum and Tweedledee are out for blood. Something has warped the magical mystery realm, sending Alice reeling from one close shave to the next. And when she gets her day in the Queen of Hearts' court, the verdict could be even more awful than "Off with her head!" Can a grown-up Alice survive the nightmare and escape her demented Wonderland? Or would she be better off staying in the lesser of two hells? The trip home could be a real killer. Don't miss this twisted dark fantasy tale from award-winning storyteller Robert Jeschonek, a master of mind-bending fantasy.

The Return of Alice

Baird the convicted rapist knows no peace. Ten years of haunting by the digital ghost of his victim, Frieda, have left him a basket case.but freedom awaits. If he can just make it till tomorrow, his sentence will end, and the digital ghost will become vaporware. But Frieda has no intention of leaving quietly, and the going-away present she has in store for Baird could be far worse than the digital nightmare he has already endured. Don't miss this story by award-winning STAR TREK and DOCTOR WHO writer Robert Jeschonek, a master of unique and unexpected science fiction that really packs a punch.

The Memory of You Lingers

Jean-Claude the waiter doesn't like it when a new guy horns in on his territory.  Even when the new guy's a private waiter working for the meanest mob boss in town, Mr. Donzatto. No way will Jean-Claude let some mob flunky steal his thunder.  He'll stop at nothing to put the new guy in his place, from tripping him up to breaking him down with a series of violent "accidents." But playing hardball with a mob waiter is risky business, especially when the last course of dinner is a dark secret that could change the whole menu forever. Don't miss this exciting tale by award-winning storyteller Robert Jeschonek, a master of unique and unexpected crime fiction and mysteries that really pack a punch.

The Other Waiter

Captain Picard, Commander Riker, and Lieutenant Data made history on the bridge of the Enterprise in Star Trek: The Next Generation...but what about the crewmen of the lower decks? Captain Sisko, Commander Worf, and the crew of Deep Space Nine were posted on a space station...so how did time travel become such a big part of their greatest adventures? And what was the key to the Starship Voyager getting home safe and sound from the Delta Quadrant?  Is Captain Kathryn Janeway the greatest of all Star Trek captains because of her decisive command style? Find the answers to these questions and more in Trek Off!  In this collection of short essays, award-winning Star Trek writer Robert Jeschonek explores the worlds of Trek, from The Next Generation to Voyager.  Join him on a journey through time and space in a search for the secrets of the Trek universe. This volume, a tribute to the greatest science fiction epic of our age, includes four essays:  "Lower Decks, " "Past Tense, " "Final Authority, " and "To Boldly Go Where No Comic Book Has Gone Before:  10 Star Trek Comic Book Lost Treasures."  These essays are collected here for the first time. Robert Jeschonek knows his Trek.  He won the national grand prize in the Strange New Worlds writing contest.  He is one of a handful of authors chosen to write stories in the Star Trek: New Frontier universe.  His latest Trek fiction appears in Star Trek Corps of Engineers: Out of the Cocoon.  Now he invites you to ponder some of the cool questions of Trek, explore some exciting lost comic book treasures, and boldly follow in the footsteps of the legion of Trek fans who have gone before.

Trek Off

A gang of vicious scalpers roams the Arizona territory in the Old West, slaughtering town after town. Only one man stands in their way: a sword-wielding Arabian knight named Badr al-Medina. To stop the scalpers' killing spree, Badr makes a stand at the next town in their path, Oasis...only to find the place hip-deep in corruption that could turn his fight into a suicide mission. But surprising new allies give Badr fresh hope, as he unleashes the power of his Damascus steel sword, his six-shooter revolvers, and his fiery faith in an all-out war in the blood-soaked streets of Oasis. Don't miss this story by award-winning writer Robert Jeschonek, a master of action-packed Westerns that really pack a punch.

The Slaughterers

Once upon a time, the sword Tizona helps the warrior knight El Cid cut a swath through the Moors invading Spain. But El Cid doesn't know the great sword's secret: that it has a mind of its own and talks only to his beautiful wife, Jimena. Together, Tizona and Jimena help El Cid wage his battles, until a demon of war takes possession of his body and soul. When woman and blade unite, can they free the legendary hero from the demon's wicked clutches?  Or will the shadow of the horrors of war overcome all of them?  Perhaps, in the sword's cryptic prophecy, lies a secret that will turn the tables of history, love, and death. Don't miss this edgy, exciting, and surprising fantasy tale by award-winning storyteller Robert Jeschonek, a master of unique and unexpected fantasy that really packs a punch.

The Sword That Spoke

Once upon a galaxy, a spaced-out writer launched a novel exploring a starry saga set in a universe much like a certain trek we know and love. Here, for the first time, you can experience this voyage into trekkerness. The names are new, but you might recognize the drama and excitement of an epic encounter aboard the star cruiser Exogenesis as it pioneers humanity's journey to greatness among the stars. In this adventure, first contact with the multilingual Vox species goes horribly wrong when the crew's linguist mistakenly uses a forbidden slur. Drawn into a violent revolution, a "war of words" to decide language dominance, the crew of the Exogenesis races against time to convince the aliens to unite against a greater threat:  an unstoppable invasion fleet roaring toward planet Vox from deep space. When revolution and invasion collide, it is up to Captain Joshua Swift and the Exogenesis crew to save the world by revealing the secret behind the slur that started it all.the dark secret linking Vox and invaders in an ancient cycle of slavery, suffering, lies, and death. Don't miss this exciting lost novel by award-winning Star Trek author Robert Jeschonek, a master of unique and unexpected science fiction that really packs a punch.

Sticks and Stones: A Trek Novel

Sixteen-year-old Charlie West has nowhere left to turn. A cyberstalker named Conscience has made her life a nightmare, bullying her by remote control. But in Charlie's darkest hour, she discovers Nil, a radical underground movement using guerilla tactics to crush the worst bullies around. Charlie joins Nil and works high-risk missions, taking down bullies while playing a deadly cat-and-mouse game with her stalker. But when a trusted ally betrays Nil from within, Charlie must stand alone against Conscience...and her high-stakes war against the ultimate bully might just force her to make the ultimate sacrifice. Don't miss this story by award-winning young adult writer Robert Jeschonek, a master of unique and unexpected books that really pack a punch.

Dick By Law

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